Reply To: Kibud Av vs. cranky father in law

farrockgrandma, I wonder if your last statement is right on the head. He’s watched his daughter (and me) go from unreligious to raising our 5 kids FFB over the last 15 years. My in laws attend a “learner’s service” every Shabbos morning at an Orthodox shul, but they refuse to take on kashrus, Shabbos, etc. My wife and I, on the other hand, try to make every decision in life under the cloak of Torah. Perhaps he’s had “enough.”

We used to have this long standing game in our family to pretend to treat him with disrespect, which was actually meant (and taken) as a sign of respect. When he turned 70, I instructed my kids that game was over, and it was time to give him real kavod. Things have gone downhill ever since.

I have passed up numerous job promotions that would have forced the my family to move, in order to stay close to the grandparents (both sides are in town, B’H”). But now my wife is wondering what kind of role models the grandparents will be for the kids as they get older. They have a TV – we don’t. They eat treif – we don’t. They drive on Shabbos, etc,, you get the point.

At what point do you have to limit your kids exposure to your parents who not only eat teif, but davka celebrate it!