I have a semi similar situation and I often feel at odds with what to do. I grew up pretty modern, always keeping shabbos and kashrus but you know, wearing pants and going to a coed yeshiva high school. When I becameore frum over the course of a few years my mother was thrilled and so proud, ( even though she still wears pants and does her own thing, she actually got a sheital for my wedding). Anyway my father, who btw learns everyday and never ever misses a minyan, is very (anti) charedi. I always say thank goodness I’m the girl because my father woul never have bought a sheital for my wife. My husband always tries to show respect for my father, they have a great relationship. But at times they are at odds, usually over shabbos table discussions and lately my husband finds it hard to bite his tongue. My father thinks that it is crazy the way bochurim and or charedim hold the gedolim to such a high level and that it is cult like. My husband gets very offended and has to literally cover his mouth so as not to speak out. They have wildly different views on israel. My father says it is better to not keep shabbos but to live in israel, then to live here and be charedi. Obviously my father would never break shabbos but you get my point. Sometimes I find myself arguing with my father and I know I am being distespectful but I just can’t handle it. I am trying though. I find that when I change the subject or leave the room for a minute all settles down. I would like to find a better solution.
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