rubbebands: you say your uncles family, has difficulty with conflict grudges etc.. for a while already. Perhaps with the help of their family Rav you can make shalom or find out why they got hurt originally. BTW this could have nothing to do with a family feud at all . This could even be from some emotional experience that happened to your aunt or uncle when they were growing up and in some misguided way feel that by running their house in such a way, or maintaining a distance/showing a ruthless exterior to perceived slights, they will not have the real or imagined difficulty repeating itself with their kids.
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