Whatever happened to “Torah Im Derech Eretz” attitude?
I believe what BPT is correct. Working and striving for a goal TOGETHER is a basis for a good marriage, not waiting for a monthly stipend from the parents. Is it fair to ask parents to work well into their 70’s to provide for their grandchildren and great grandchildren? Work is not a “dirty” four letter word!
I have made a few shidduchim myself, but not for money. I do this mamesh leshem mitzvah! I look at the two parties involved and see that it might work and try to make people happy.
People ask the most narishe questions when doing a shidduch. What size dress, shoes, stacking dishes, plastic or china, shirt color, sock color, what kind of pants or trousers do they wear etc. My machatainista was asked by a shadchan: EDITED. She answered very sweetly, “if that is the kind of questions you are asking, you are not for me” and thanked her and hung up. I would do the same! B’H a million times that we are out of that parsha.
I see what goes on outside of Mir and other good Yeshivas. The boys are supposed to be in Beis Medrash and they are on their mobiles and smoking and going up and down the street in the take aways. Not all the boys, but alot of them, and the ones outside are the ones who have very wealthy fathers and grandfathers with trust funds for all. So they don’t have to worry for a shidduch, as money, unfortunately talks. Whatever happened to good middos, compassion, kindness, caring and sharing for others, a good person to all for no personal gain, good sense of humor, cool, calm and collect in all situations? Life is not a bed of roses, one has to work on themselves at all times. And, YES I have
true emunah and bitachon always, and I always try to see the good in someone.
Everyone should be matzliach in all they want, and need, LE TOVA!