No, SJS, the mechitza does a lot. Foolish men going on the wrong side of the mechitza is wrong, and does not negate its utility. You seem to be in weddings where this aveira occurs frequently of men ogling at women dancing, though I have better experience than you whereas it is quiet infrequent. Either way the mechitza belongs.
There are wrong ways to go about shidduchim and making “connections”. Some examples are bars and mixed seating. Unregulated male/female hookups is not a good thing. And once a bad “connection” is made, the emotions rule and breaking it despite determining unkosher information regarding one of the parties can be virtually impossible.