Oomis & SJS – you’re right, in way. Say, thirty years ago, or even twenty, to a degree it was a positive thing to have some mingling between eligible singles, and a wedding was a great opportunity. This used to be the Hanagah be the Gedoley Yisrael, as well.
But our culture has got straight down the tubes. Dressing to kill & Promiscuity have invaded our world in a way they never have before. Hence, we try to make more gedarim. Does it work? I don’t know; but I know that a single modern orthodox girl of twenty five years would call some of our yeshivish kollel girls – in dress, and action -well, I won’t use the term here. Guys? I dabble as a shadchan; the question I get asked about a girl – well, they didn’t get them from their Rosh Yeshiva. The secular culture has experienced this as well, to a far greater degree, and we are not immune.
And I mean “excellent excellent” girls and boys.
That’s the real tragedy. So we throw up another mechitzah and another mechitzah. Who thought about speaking to cousins back then? Or having a “mixed” shabbos meal? But things have changed; tension between the genders exist on a scale that we never had before, and look around you to see. So we try to separate and separate. And yes, often it’s a bummer – I also well – just don’t go to concerts anymore, even though my wife enjoyed them. To spend money to stand next some guy I never met and call it a date? But concerts did get out of hand, and the singles were certainly meeting, but not getting married. We have an epidemic of internet addiction – ultimately, we always must pay the piper.
A price? Definetly. A response to modern times? Also. Is there another solution – or is this even a real solution? I don’t know. But this is where it’s coming from.
The idea of a controlled,mixed, shadchan based environment is always done by Invey HaGefen. It’s been pretty successful. Each shadchan sees everyone’s picture and resume beforehand, and points everyone in the right direction, but it’s open. I think it’s a good idea.