SJS –
I’m sorry, but you have your head in the sand if you at the same believe that you’ve been to many coed functions and nothing has happened (!) yet so many are not shomer during engagement. HELLO?
Do you know what the rates of frum kids on campus sleeping around is? Over 60%. I heard this from a Hillel Rabbi (a very frum one). Do you know the need of stuff seminary teachers need to clean up after? The number of Eshes Ish problems we deal with under the radar?
NOTHING HAS HAPPENED? NOTHING HAS HAPPENED? Do you think that everyone just woke on morning and said “gee, the sun is shinning , let’s see what we can forbid today?” The game has changed. Yes, in our communities. Never heard of Tefillin dates? Come on. I’m not saying the solution is to separate everything under the sun, but this ivory tower attitude of “well, they are just immature, they will do it anyway”…ignores basic human nature that we are influenced by our surroundings, simple Skinner behaviorism – and yes, “Gedarim” of one sort or another have always existed.
Per your logic, we should do away with Yichud, because either people are mature or they are not. Shulchan Aruch writes “One should say very, very, far away from women…” – now, true, today’s world requires more interaction (I am expecting “well, then we should have burqas response”) – but the principle remains. We need to have gedarim. This reasonings is ridiculous.
Men & Women of all social strata, intelligence, and levels of religiosity have done stupid things they never would have dreamed of doing. Chazal teach us “En Apitrapus L’Arayos -” no one is trusted in regards to these thing. No one. Trust? Maturity?
We have “gedarim” for a reason. Now, you need the right geder in the right time in the right place – but come on, if you think that coed events only effect the immature who will do it anyway, it’s time to wake up and smell the chulent. Speak to educators, Rabbis, people in the field. Tsey V’Lamad!
Please, I beg of you, respond to my actual point. That people are effected by their surroundings, and gedarim help that. This we see from Chazal – Yichud – Shulchan Aruch – and basic psychology of behaviorism.
OK mod, carte blanche.