Moq – Very well said, and I couldn’t agree more.
dunno – “As a general rule most college age students are looking to get married as they fall between the 18 to 23 range (for undergrad). Again, I am talking about your run of the milll frum guy/girl.”
Just because somebody is above 18 doesn’t automatically guarantee that they are serious and “looking to get married”. There are still plenty of 18-20 year old who are looking for nothing more than a good time.
Oh, and I think you should read Moqs comment (if you haven’t already) seeing as it talks more about coed colleges (which you have been championing) than mixed seating (which seems to be SJSinNYC’s main point).
SJSinNYC – “During coed functions with adults (we can debate teenage years as a different point), nothing happens in the open. If something happens, in private, it would have happened anyway. We are talking about people who are dating for marriage. Can you trust them on a date?”
For the umpteenth time: We are NOT only talking about serious adults, or “people who are dating for marriage”. We are talking about anybody and everybody who will be affected by making weddings and other such events coed – people of all ages and all maturity levels.
“If something happens, in private, it would have happened anyway.”
No it wouldn’t have, these two people wouldn’t know each other exist, forget be doing various aveiros together!
“sitting at a table with someone who may be your bashert for 3 hours with 400 people in the room will not lead to licentiousness any more than being in a hotel lobby will. “
Of course it will – it will give the two of them 3 more hours to form a bond, and once that bond is formed it has much more potential to become very, very destructive. And if you honestly think that there is no difference between meeting somebody in passing in a lobby and sitting down for 3 hours with them, then how would mixed seating help form shidduchim? They’re meeting in the lobby anyways!
charliehall – “Almost all of us have something like that in our background, either ourselves or in our family history. And most of us who claim that there isn’t are simply in denial. We are all imperfect people and the Torah lifestyle allows us to serve HaShem in spite of our imperfections. “
Yes, nobody perfect, and of course we should serve Hashem anyways. However, would you want your child to get married to somebody with “genetic diseases/psychological disorders”? Or worse, get married and only then find out that their spouse has serious issues? If that is indeed the case, then dating without research is for you.