dunno – “In college you tend to have girls starting from 18-19 and boys 20-21. Most have already gone to Israel and are ready to settle down and start a family.”
I do no think that is the case. Boys and girls several years younger that than (usually from a more modern background) that often go to college, and even those that have gone to Israel aren’t necessarily “ready to settle down and start a family”.
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“You also tell SJSinNYC that during the 3 hours by the wedding the boy and girl will form a bond so it’s likely to lead to sin. If that is the case, how are we allowing 2nd dates when going through a shidduch system? The first date tends to run for about the same amount of time if not longer.”
Again, the difference being that only singles seriously interested in getting married are going to a shadchan in the fist place, while anybody at any level of maturity can be at a wedding. I believe this is the 3rd time I have said this idea on this topic.
“In response to your last post, do you honestly think that when someone wants to get to know the opposite gender better it’s to sin??”
Most of the time, yes.
“it’s not tayvah. It’s called: “I got a good impression of this person. I want to get to know them better to see if we can maybe get married one day and raise a family together.”
Again, this is only if these people are both at a certain maturity level, and not everybody at a wedding (or at a college) have that maturity. Therefore, mixing genders will result in a greater amount of aveiros happening.
Sacrilege – “The bottom line is people who want to get in trouble will get in trouble people who dont wont. Nothing just happens.”
While that may be true to some extent, it is not a black and white rule. If it was so simple, then we would only have two types of people in this world: total tzaddikim and total rushahim, and this is obviously not the case. Everybody has a breaking point – a certain amount of tayveh that they find it very hard not to succumb to. And the closer you get to that point, the harder it is for them to resist the yetzer hara. Putting immature boys and girls together, giving them a chance to get to know one another and to exchange contact info, will increase their desire to get together and sin.