One day coffee addict was walking down the street (uphill both ways, mind you) when all of a sudden a big ferocious lion jumped out of the bushes (don’t ask me how a lion can fit) and started attacking him. Coffee addict didn’t have his trusty switchblade so instead he just took his hands to the lions mouth and pulled until the lion died
and that’s how coffee addict killed a lion with his bare hands (sorry it wasn’t original)