Reply To: Baal Teshuva Tips

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mommamia22
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I agree. I just don’t think he has to be FINISHED with all that to begin dating. I think the most important thing to resolve before dating is making sure your gairus status will be widely accepted. Without that, no upstanding girl (or her family) will consider a shidduch with you. Once that’s clarified, as Oomis said, you need to spend real time (immersed) in a yeshiva. Personally, I’d recommend going to yeshiva in Israel. Aish Hatorah and Ohr Sameach are some of the most amazing yeshivas for Baalei teshuva. They have incredible rabbonim who will be able to help you and guide you. I think a year is probably not sufficient considering your background and being new. Maybe two would be ok (your rabbonim would know, with their experience and wisdom, that’s why it’s so important to go to that environment). They could also serve as references. You don’t need to commit to living in Israel to learn there. I also think if you can’t afford to pay (for yeshiva there) they won’t let that stand in your way. I think most girls would be afraid of a guy who’s not in the fold for long enough and doesn’t have a strong enough background.

My opinion about not needing to wait was related to your concerns about parnasah, weight and having a car, more than anything. I think if you can make enough to survive for a bit on the salary of an EMT while you continue your studies, then that doesn’t have to stop you.

I know I’m in the minority (and I wouldn’t say this if you were a girl) but I think 21 is pretty young and I think you can spare a few years before diving into dating. Get ready first.