This is a frightening trend in our chinuch system, though the fundamental flaw exists in every one of us.
I suspect that there has probably never been a generation that had as many built in chumros in shmiras hamitzvos. We can provide Cholov Yisroel almost anywhere on earth. We have kosher lamps and phones. We can minimize chilul Shabbos in hospitals with gramah based apparatus. We have increased our range of chesed to virtually hundreds of gemachs for countless things. We have rules in place that our talmidim come to yeshivos with white shirts only. Our girls have uniforms that guarantee tznius standards. We even have rules in yeshivos and girls’ schools that expel talmidim and talmidos if there is a compromise in tznius in the home (or deny them admissions), even the men from non-chassidishe circles have peyos and beards, and there is probably more Torah being learned today than ever in history. We are seriously deficient in one thing (maybe more, but I focus on this one). Ahavas Hashem. We are too preoccupied to dedicate our concern and concentration to become closer to Hashem and to fulfill His will.
I quote a story mentioned by Rav Dessler ZT”L in the Michtav Me’Eliyahu. A mashgiach once asked a talmid who davened a lengthy tefillo with hislahavus, “Tell me, at which point during davening do you concentrate on standing before Hakadosh Baruch Hu?” The talmid answered that he is much too busy with his thoughts of the meanings of the words and the awareness of halachos about where he can be mafsik that he does not have capacity to entertain thoughts of standing before the Shechinah. Rav Dessler decries the foolishness of this logic. But have some of us gotten there?
We hear much about students in yeshivos “complying with rules”. It would be chaotic otherwise. But have we “ruled” our yeshivos away from true learning? Have we stripped our talmidim away from “Ratzon Hashem” for the gain of “Ratzon Hayeshiva”?
When we need to resort to these “fire and brimstone” stories, we have banished the entire mission of bringing Ahavas Hashem to our younger generation. Is it a wonder that we struggle with way too many children who observe the consistent hypocrisy and seek fulfillment in the gashmiyus worlds of entertainment, street life, and chemicals? These children are not drop outs. They are throw outs. We pushed then there by hiding Ahavas Hashem from ourselves and from them.
I am not offended by this story, and I have no reason to question its validity. And there are many such recountings of events that can and should throw some pachad into our souls. What is questioned is the messages we give to our children. Good question. Is anyone on the chinuch end listening? What kind of answers are there?