OP: Here is what I think.
1. I don’t know whether you are thinking this way, but many people have a hard time after marriage, because they think that there is one perfect person out there for them–and discover that their spouse is not “perfect”. They think that when you find the one perfect person, then everything will be easy. This thinking is sometimes related to people’s notion of “bashert”.
This is false, and if you think that way, it is likely why you are having problems.
2. You should go to therapy. Not with your wife, just you. Figure out what is bothering you and why.