a mamin, thank you.
popa, I’d assume most men wouldn’t be able to see this distinction, or at least blind themselves to it to justify their viewpoint. But it’s basically this: If your personal satisfaction depends upon another person’s attributes, that is shallow, and even unhealthy. This would include a guy “needing” a pretty wife, more than just being attracted to her. If your personal satisfaction depends upon your own attributes, that is good. This would include a woman’s desire to be attractive, as well as a man’s desire to have respect.
In regard to what you said about women wanting their husbands to wear specific articles of clothing, yes, that is petty. However, once a man is married, he should do everything he can to make his wife happy, so wearing something she wants, which shouldn’t be a big deal to him, would be a good idea to make her happy. If it really IS a big deal to him, he can discuss it with her, and then she would have a opportunity to make HIM happy by not controlling what he wears.