So your argument is that it is ok to need yourself to be “just so” externally, but not ok to need your spouse to be “just so” externally.
But why? Why is it less petty when applied to yourself? I’d argue it is more petty since at least you should be able to appreciate yourself without putting paint on your face!
Seriously; we both know my original explanation is correct. G-d made men and women to care about different things, and neither is petty, since it is important to us.
popa, I’d assume most men wouldn’t be able to see this distinction, or at least blind themselves to it to justify their viewpoint.
Careful; if you don’t fight fair, I might not either.