That sounds a lot like where my brother is now. There is a real kesher to Hashem and His Torah. We didn’t have any of that. Just as an FYI, not to start a tangent (please no) but when I registered my daughter for BY here I did it with baited breath. Just waiting for them to say the wrong thing and send me walking. They never did. No fire and brimstone in this particular school. She learned a lot from role models and soft speech. The fiery ones were a sad minority who did their damage but have been replaced, B”H.
I can now see why you felt an attraction. I wish I had been raised with some of that. B”H my kids are.
Thanks for sharing!