Reply To: from otd to back on, ask away

i would like to clarify, my upbrining was exactly like SYAG describes. i feel silly using terms like “off the derech” because growing up that type of thinking was totally not around. hair covering, skirts, “shomer negiya”… were things that “chasidim” did, not “regular people”. but shabbas and kashrus were absolutely not negotiable. people like me strayed from shabbas and kashrus and everything else simply because we felt no reason not to (aside from family pressure and guilt, which takes you only so far). i felt no connection to any of the “rituals” i was braught up to observe, and it felt natural to leave it all. interestingly, through the years i have become close with many who came from more intense yeshivish upbringings who have gone “otd”, and they seem to have the exact opposite feelings. that they had too much pressure and not enough options. i am well aware that every individual’s circumstances are totally unique and and that no sweeping generalizations can be made on issues like this. whith that being said, the one common denominator i have seen personally is that kids growing up without feeling a connection and an excitement towards Torah and mitzvos are the most vulnerable to leaving it. (obvious, i know.)