Bustercrown,
Since you asked for some advice, I will offer although I am far from qualified to deal with this issue.
First, make sure that your Husband has a Rav, its sort of insurance, if something goes wrong, you have someone to turn to. be it a Rosh Yeshiva or Shull Rav.
From your post it seems as if this situation is way out of hand. I do not know what your Husband does online, (it’s evident that you have a computer at home, since you post often). The best option might be to openly confront him and let him know that this cannot go on. Make sure that you have your Rav’s (or his Rosh Yeshivas guidance on how to confront him), but playing this cat and mice game might do more harm to the relationship than being open.
Make it clear to him that you are here to confront him as much as you would like to help him and more than that help yourself and your Family.
Make sure that you let him know that you love him and admire him, only that you want him to come clean of what happened and move on.
Hatzlacha Rabba.