Reply To: Rabbonim and Shalom Bayis Problems

Just as someone enters a doctor’s office with a specific complaint (sore throat, fever, pain, etc.) and can hear various treatment options such as medication, bed rest, and the like, the same occurs when a couple goes to a therapist. There are probably a few who are “trigger happy”, and tend to give up on the marriage more easily than others. But, on the whole, most professionals are NOT divorce therapists and do not work on splitting up couples. There are imperfect therapists just as there are less than perfect plumbers, carpenters, and lawyers. many who do not have training in marital therapy do not accept such referrals, and will recommend to seek help elsewhere. And, as a rule, a couple enters the therapist’s office seeking to repair the marriage. The accusation that therapists seek divorces is baseless, and facts are otherwise. Good try.

My OP was not to malign Rabbonim. It was to point out the misuse of Rabbonim, where we call on them to perform counseling that is outside of their domain of experience and expertise. With their lack of training in this area, their noble intentions often do not compensate for their lack of skills. Isn’t it hard when a friend asks you to help them fix their car and you can’t (since you are not a mechanic)? No one wants to say no. Yet, doing so would really be a mitzvah.