There is a fascinating commentary from the Gr”a on Mishlei (27:27). He distinguishes between a ??? and a ????. The ??? is someone who is rightfully equal to his subjects, but that the subjects accepted his role as king. They subjugate themselves to him. The ???? is someone who pushes himself into a position to rule over others, by force or pressure. It is worth noting that many of the references that address the male dominance position refer to the husband as ???, NOT ????. The explanation seems obvious. It is the wife that subjugates herself to the direction of the husband, not the process of the husband oppressing his wife to be the superior.
We might further recognize the line we recite in Maariv, ??????? ????? ???? ?????, where we refer to the ????? as something we willingly accept upon ourselves. As soon as the subjects no longer subscribe to their subject role, the ??? ceases to be a ???. I bet the choice of words in all of the above references is intentional.