I’m sorry about the comments you’re getting about how the Shchina weeps, and you should stay in E”Y. Of course we would all prefer to live in E”Y, and I”m sure you are sad to be leaving. The fact is that so many of us are forced to live in chutz la’aretz, and pray for the day when we can all be zoche to return together. I don’t think the purpose of this thread is to put anyone on a guilt trip, or to offer a mussar shmooze on yishuv E”Y.
I wish I had some solid good advice for you. I’m not familiar with special needs education. Greater NY does have a lot of job opportunities, often in a frum environment, and while housing costs are very high, tuition is, as previously mentioned, a lot less expensive. Don’t be intimidated by all the talk of keeping up with the Joneses, there are still some normal people living in NY. Good luck!