From what I read on aish.com and from what I heard from a lecture by Rabbi Orlofsky, both mention that a very important factor when deciding who to marry is do you have similar goals and values and similar hashkafa. –
For example, I’m very into kiruv and having Shabbos guests and want my husband to be into it also. Do you want to make aliya? Work or learn or both? Can you live simply or do you want luxury? Think how you want to raise your kids. – when you know what your goals and values are, you look for that in the other.
R’ Orlofsky said something beautiful that the purpose to marry is to build a small mishkan, a home of holiness. Even mundane things like housework can be holy because we are doing what we need to for our home. Plus, each spouse should focus on their own effort, instead of what they expect from the other. And we need to be there for each other in order to be strong