thank you for your post oomis1105! Beautifully put.
On Yom kippur we atone for so many different sins, we cannot look at another and judge them, it simply is beyond our means.
The more secular amongst my family have always spoken of utmost respect about the dati leumi and yeshivish in their midst
and vice versa. Differences of opinion do not need to mean divided families if handled delicately. At times discord can arise from two different frum groups refusing to yield or compromise, where a grandparent has a more secular take, it can in fact be easier to explain differences and create respectful tolerance from both sides. At the end of the day, if parents are respectfully treated they are more likely to respect the wishes of their children. One can explain how different family members observe different halachot, one cannot explain downright rudeness or hurtful behaviour.