mrs. Katz
She only has a say in how you spend your money if the money is hers and the money comes from your inlaws in that they are supporting you. If you and your husband get no money from them its not their business how you spend your money. However always keep the peace and speak nicely and respectfully but don’t allow yourself to be abused or talked down to and you have every right and you should stand up for yourself and defend yourself when someone is attacking you on a personal level just do it tactfully.