OOmis, i agree that there is way too much of a deal being made over the shoes, but i think mrs. katz’s basic point is correct, and is a big deal. Mother in laws should not be running their children’s lives.
i personally do not buy my childrn Shabbos shoes, many poeple in england don’t, and i think that it important for children to realise that to look fance (smart in england) does not need to cost money, it can be achievec by a bit of work of polishing shoes. it teaches them kovoid shabbos much more than simply wearing a diferent pair of sheos, it teaches them that they do not need everyhting that they see by their friends. However big or small our reasons are, it is our decision, not my parents or parents in law.