Exactly, if you are saying everyone is making a big deal of nothing, it could be because you do not have a controlling mother-in-law or are one yourself! However, “ybrooklynteacher” understands exactly what this is about, dealing with a controlling mother in law.
My MIL did offer to buy a house for me to live in, but it was right next door to her house! She did NOT offer to buy me a house where I would like to live! This is all about MILs realizing that after all, we are the parents (they had their chance)! In addition, it is sad that yom tov or any other get-together has to be a “trying” time. We all want to have peace of mind and would love to have a great time at our in-laws without having to constantly be rebuked etc.
At the end of the day, it just makes more sense to stay home in order to avoid all the negativity and “machlokes”!