I will try to explain the Charedi position on that.
Charedim cannot fathom that people would want to leave, They cannot understand why boys dont like Gemorah or women dont like Tzniut or Tahrat Mishpacha. They cannot understand why someone would rather text their friends on Shabbos than sing Zimrot.
Since everyone loves these things, and if you dont their only reason you are mentally ill. The reason they exile the OTDer is because they cannot handle the situation. They know no other way and if someone goes a differnet way “YOu must be mentally ill”.
Its very unfortunate the OTDers are cast that way. It doesnt help the situation and really makes it worse.