PuhLease said:
“By the way, there are a great many “frum” psychotherapists. I put “frum” in quotations because I do not believe that any one person is still living exactly k’halacha.”
No one is perfect; we are all human. As it says in Avot, “hacol l’fi rov hamaaseh” – according to the preponderance. The understanding is that are all imperfect, so we are judged on the majority, rov.
“Some of our sins may be more obvious than others, but none of us can state with clarity that we live exactly as we should.”
I once had a conversation with Rabbi Twerski about how addicts justify substance abuse, and he said to me that we are no different than them. They have their bad habits that they justify and we have ours. Theirs are more obvious though.
PuhLease, I see you as saying that “no one is perfect, so why should I care”. You seem that you are showing some anger and scorn. If I’m wrong feel free to tell me. If I’m right, it seems to me that you may need to work out some issues. I can understand why you could still feel resentment. You describe a neglectful childhood in which your parents devalued you as a person. To make matters worse, you were in an abusive marriage where the tyrant claimed divine right.
I might be going out on a limb here, but it seems to me that you are rather self-critical. It seems natural considering how it seems that you have not been shown much real love, but instead lots of judgement. I may be thinking of that because I used to “beat myself up” as a psychologist once told me.
Anyway, it’s late and I know that my thoughts may be disjointed. I want to apologize if I say anything offensive to you in this conversation. Thank you for answering my questions above. I look forward to hearing more from you (and not from vochindik).
vochindik, if you are reading this, remember that silence is golden and duct tape is silver. If you don’t have the will power to communicate like a mentch, consider the duct tape.