Reply To: I'm gonna marry a feminist yekke girl

Chayey odom:

??? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ???? ?’ ????, ?????? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ???????? ?????? ?? ???? ????, ???? ???? ??????, ??? ?????? ?? ???? ???? ????, ??? ?? ???? ??? ???? ???????? ???’ ?

At the time the Chayey odom lived, there were well established minhagim which held various amounts of hours, as the rema notes. It is completely probable that these are the minhagim he refers to. And that the history of their development is as the taz and shach describe.

I note that according to no current minhag can you just bench and wash again, as is min hadin according to the rishonim of not eating in the same seudah. And therefore chayey odom does not consider the possibility that somebody might be matir neder and start just benching and not waiting at all. If, as you posit, chayey odom is referring to the alternative shittos in the din of the gemara–not the minhagim of his time–then he should discuss that as well, particularly since that is how the rema paskens min hadin.

I see nothing in this which implies that anyone holds those minhagim are m’dina d’gemara.