Reply To: "Your not mechuyav to do it altz hishtadlus but you can do it if you want to…"

I don’t know if there’s a real answer to your question — it’s more a question of hashkafah that depends on who you ask. I would think about it this way. If this is something you really want, ask yourself why? If you don’t think you have improper motives, and your gut is telling you really want it, then there’s nothing wrong with being persistent and trying again and again. It’s not a coincidence that yidden gave the world the concept of chutzpah. You should also of course daven for guidance — Hashem will give you hints about what you should do.