You have my sympathies, and I will not advise you on this issue. I will advise you though, to find social and financial happiness outside of the marriage. Make sure that you have friends and activities outside of the house so that you can air out (whether you stay married or divorce). I don’t know your financial standings, but if you don’t have a marketable skill take the time to take a course in something that interests you. Whether you stay married or not, you need some financial independence. I do feel that divorce affects children (from what I’ve seen) but so does a bad marriage with an OCD spouse.
I will try to guide you a little though, you say your husband wants a second chance. What is he willing to do get it? You sound like you now have the upper hand, use it to the best of your abilities.
I will strongly disagree with Popa, I think that most people should stay married. Marriage is great for the physical, emotional and spiritual well being of all involved; man, woman and child(ren). It is an institution that G-d himself created. Unfortunately, some people are spoiled or have mental challenges and don’t know how that marriage means that they need to give and not just receive.