Very sad — I hope that’s not true, that it’s all in her head or something. But it sounds like she seemed sincere. Rachmana litzlan!
Derech eretz precedes the Torah — how I think of that phrase is this. What is considered being a “good person” in a particular place, as long as it’s not against the Torah, then that’s a minimum floor — we each need to be a “good person,” and Torah is supposed to make us even better (refining our character traits as well as performing mitzvos). So Americans are generally a pretty nice and friendly people who smile a lot and stay positive most of the time, particularly with strangers. It may not seem like that in the big city but that’s how most Americans are. If we’re not like that too, people will c”v’s think of frum Jews as less moral than the average non-Jew, causing a great chillul Hashem. People should be nice like their life and the lives of others depended on it. It might:
“Anyone with whom his fellowmen are pleased, G-d is pleased with him; but anyone with whom his fellowmen are not pleased, G-d is not pleased with him.” Avos 3:10
“One who publicly humiliates his fellowman has no share in Olam Haba.” Avos 3:11.