While I’m not presiding over a house of 10, I’m not a parent of an only child, either. Nor, am I a woman, so perhaps this is something a man cannot understand.
I know several couples who are still waiting to be blessed, and my heart breaks when I see them.
That said, the term “secondary infertility” garners zero sympathy from me. I think it is very selfish for someone with one or two children to equate themselves with someone who (loi uhlainu) has no children. To want more children? That’s a wonderful thing. To think there is something wrong with you as a person, or somehow you let your spouse down, because you “only” have 2 kids? That (IMHO) is uncalled for.
The number of children are not a scorecard, by which you are measured. How good a parent /spouse is what you are judged on.