Since we all know that everyone has some flaws because there is no such a thing as a perfect human;
Won’t any kind of “pre marital therapy” be counter productive?
It will just bring out the flaws and endlesly analyse them without accomplishing anything just like the president is endlessly analysing the Gulf oil spill without accomplishing anything.
The reason people despite their flaws stay married is because they make it a point to accomplish being together despite the flaws, not to go over them and highlight them and sit and worry about the fact that “my intended spouse has flaws”.
When both people go into marriage with the idea that it is supposed to be forever (at least 999 out of 1000 times) the marriage usually works even if it is not perfect (because nothing ever is).
But when they go into it thinking “well there is always divorce”
There is a much greater chance, there will be one.
If people go into dating with the idea that “even though people all have flaws, I will marry, only once they are all worked out” I think that person will either go into marriage so deluded that it will undrmine the marriage (thinking the flaws are all fixed) or they will possiboly never find ‘the right one’.
This is one reason (not necessarly the only reason but one important reason) why I think there is the ‘shidduch crises’ that has been mentioned in at least one other thread.
If everyone has flaws and must be perfect to marry, or have their flaws fixed by the “flaw repair shop”, before getting married, then who can ever get married?