There is a big difference between knowing if the potential Chasson is compassionate and helps other people or if the potential Kallah is careful with Tznius, and trying to “remedy”
someone gettimg annoyed because they ‘clink’ their coffee cup too loudly or too often with their soon.
Researching the potential mate, finds out the necessary things before the first date, (and the dating itself helps find that out as long as it is short and intensive) and “therapy” usually just harps on making the less important things, into mountains that are then too big to climb.