And SJS, no, hate does not automatically come from a love free marriage, an emotionally empty marriage does. People who do not have love in their marriage can feel fulfilled in different ways.
Hate comes from resentment and it’s a feeling that builds up when one doesn’t get what they want from the other spouse. One needs to work on resentment and realize that the situation Hashem put them in is for their benefit.
We cannot make cheshbonos, but I’ve seen it time and time again that if one lives with real values and makes sacrifices for them, they do what is right, not what is easy or what they want, then THEY are the ones who in the end have a fulfilling life.