Okay, here’s a real story about unicorns and puppies. This is a true story. Once there was a Unicorn who lived in the tri-state area (or whatever). He was a beautiful animal and everyone loved him dearly. One day a puppy wanted to be redt to this unicorn but she knew he was too perfect and would never agree to go out with her. She looked like a dog, after all. So her father hired some poachers to bag the unicorn one day on his way home from testing colonge samples at Macy’s. They tied him up and brought him to a back alley where two thugs etched nivel peh into the surface of his unicorn. The unicorn was beside himself with pain over his destroyed image but now that he was damaged goods he was willing to go out with the puppy, who never told him her father was the cause of all his heart ache because she truly believed that it was a mitzvaas asei to do that to someone since it helped them to not be so gaavehdik. And they lived happily ever after.
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