shuli, those are all very good questions. As a baal teshuva, I often wonder about the same things. I try to keep a few things in mind when I think about the size of our mechitza verses the size of the mens mechitza. I will just list them to make it easier.
1. Mechitza size: One thing I have noticed in yeshivish circles is that unless it is parshas zachor, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkos, Simchas Torah, there is no real push for a woman to go to shul. Therefore, if most women do not come to shul on a weekly basis and the men have to come every day, multiple times a day, to daven at shul, it makes sense for them to have a bigger section of the mechitza. Just think about it like money. The shul pays the bills to run the electricity, ner tamid, someone donated a bunch of things like the bimah and stuff, and if the men use it more often, then it makes sense to give them a larger section, especially when there are more men.
2. Women reading megillah: I just finished hearing women laining the entire megillah in Jerusalem. Its not really so common in Yeshivish, or lubavitch circles, but the modern orthoox crowd does it in order for there to be equality in a halachically permissible way. It is completely muttar for a woman to lain megilla, however, it is assur for her to lain in front of men because of Kol Isha.
3. As a baal teshuva who had to lain for her bat mitzvah five aliyot of lech lecha, the haftorah, and the brachos before and after, I would like you to know that it took me A YEAR to prepare for that occasion, I spent half an hour a day practicing in my room with the door shut. Thousands of dollars spent on tutoring (even though I already knew the trope because I learned them when I was nine years old). The biggest relief for me as a religious woman is that I have no obligation to lain, or have any other honors during davening. I knew the aliyot I lained for my bat mitzvah perfectly, but even then, I literally cried hysterically while laining most of it and didn’t stop crying until I started reading the haftorah. I can guarentee you that you don’t want to do that- I am happy and eager to leave that task to the men.
I hope this helps, if you have any other questions, don’t be shy to ask.