I dont remember if Kamtza or Bar Kamtza was the intended invitee and who was invited in error. Either way, it is worth thinking about why the gemara refers to it as the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza when one of them was never there at all. Why is his name forever linked to the story that led to the destruction of the beis hamikdash if he was never there? Why is the name of the person who made the party – and was actively involved in throwing out an uninvited guest – not linked to this story (is it recorded anywhere?).I heard an answer in the name of R’ Dovid Feinstein Shlita that, if he (either Kamtza or Bar Kamtza – the intended invitee) was such a good friend of the one making the party, he would have showed up anyway and not taken it personally that he didnt get an invitation. That is ahavas chinam, your friend makes a simcha, you go and say mazel tov. Who knows, had he showed up and been in attendance, he may have been able to placate his friend and the uninvited guest may not have been thrown out and the rest of the story would not have played out. Pettiness and some measure of hatred for his friend, for no reason, resulted in his non attendance at the simcha of his friend. One does not have to conclude that the sinas chinam referred to in the gemara was that of the rabbonim in attendance.
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