I think it’s more that Chani, in this scenario, went through so many more issues and so much more pain (at least, on the surface) than Rivki did. When people see drugs and smoking, they’re more, oy, nebach. Something must have really gone wrong. You can SEE the problem. And really, I can see where they’re coming from. She’s self-destructing! She’s killing herself!
From a yiddishkeit perspective, I can see it going either way.
But I think that Torah is right about crisis’s original point, about how the stigma is equal in both scenarios. People are just thinking about the non-frum sibling and the influence- whether it’s the influence of drugs or liberal arts colleges, it’s equal. HOWEVER, I agree with crisis that perspective is needed.
I can’t say much about it, though, as since I think that the stigma surrounding OTD siblings is horrible and unjustified.