Torah613Torah:
The reason I emphasize yeshivos is not because they are the ones to blame, but because the voices of denial on behalf of yeshivos are strong and pervasive. And this resistance to recognize that there is room for improvement is sinful as well as dangerous. It is not the finger pointing that matters, but it is unquestionable that everyone needs to admit their shortcomings and undertake to fix it. I cannot speak for individuals, but the general public expresses greater awareness that parenting skills, sometimes even therapy are needed to be able to help a child make it through childhood and adolescence. We all recognize (though little ever gets done) to prepare young people prior to marriage with the needed skills to manage a marital relationship and how to parent children. The one place that has remained steadfast in insisting that no change is needed is chinuch, and for that there is solid blame. No, chinuch is not solely responsible. But until they yield to the pressure to recognize that they bear some responsibility, there needs to be a concentrated focus on yeshivos. Yes, there are dysfunctional families. This is universal. But there are also dysfunctional yeshivos, and it is high time that the mainstream chinuch systems acknowledged this. So far, all discussions with mechanchim are met with solid denial, proclaiming that all is well, ,and that no adaptations are needed. And the rate of expulsions, inappropriate discipline, and admissions refusals is at an all time high. Many hundreds of kids are yeshivaless. This is a community problem, it is epidemic, and everyone including the yeshivos themselves must address it.
You asked a powerful question, “Just who are the yeshivos?” Actually, everyone. Let’s explain.
Menahalim set policy of admissions, discipline, etc. Many of these policies need to be revisited. Many are based on mission statements that are not consistent with the ultimate goal of continuity of Torah life, or mesorah as we know it.
Roshei Yeshivos, at least many of them, are not involved with every talmid as a yochid. A great shiur is Divine music, but the talmid who is struggling to keep up is the responsibility of the Rosh Yeshiva.
Mashgichim have a role far beyond saying a mussar schmooze. There is direct attention needed for every single bochur to guide him to reach his potential. It is a shared responsibility with Roshei Yeshivos. It is sometimes exceptional to find a Rosh Yeshiva that knows every talmid by name. This should never occur.
Rebbeim and Magidei Shiur often assume their responsibility is to deliver a shiur, and that’s it. Wrong. We are told ?????? ??????? ????, not to establish large yeshivos. There is greater responsibility for the welfare, physical and emotional for each and every talmid. The inattentive talmid may be preoccupied with many other issues, not seeking to disrupt the class or plain bored. Does a Magid Shiur realize that the public confrontation, even asking the talmid to leave the class is not only inappropriate, but damaging? Is there adequate training for rebbeim before they enter the classroom? There is potential for huge growth in every year of yeshiva, but there is equal and opposite potential for great destruction if the experience is not handled correctly.
Yeshivish culture has also been diverted greatly from the goals and intentions dictated by the great founders of the yeshiva movement. Mussar is intellectualized to where Reb Yisroel Salanter would not recognize it. Amkus is not right where Reb Chaim Brisker wanted it, at the expense of bekiyus. The gaava that permeates the environments in both Litvish and Chassidish yeshivos is antithetical to Torah. The glamorizing of our Gedolim and Talmidei Chachomim, while truly deserved, is a misplacement of resources. We have taken things to an extreme, with relationships to our Torah leaders being relegated to the photographic, not the precious teaching and experience they can share with us.
There is much that needs to change. You are correct in recognizing that the finger pointing and blaming is of limited value. But if it triggers the realization that we need to modify our direction, it is worthwhile.