Popa
Most geirim are not typical people I mean just think about it. For a non Jew to go through the search and effort to become a ger (you say you know some well they all have a story some longer than others) but none of them are typical people. They are all spiritual and emotional people. You don’t get attracted to Yiddishkiet unless you are a big baal hergesh. I am with Derech Hamelech on this. They aren’t taught how to integrate. Ever see the baalei teshuvah with the weird hat and weird suit and all that? Why doesn’t anyone teach these guys how to dress? Take them to a darn suit store and hat store and make sure they look normal! Same thing with the havaarah. Why don’t they work with them and teach them how to pronounce words properly? Teach them the nusach hatefilah and kiddush…I have heard bt and geirim make kiddush and I feel bad for them because it sounds really funny.
Another thing is that geirim are different there’s no denying that they lived 20-30 years as non Jews in a totally different environment that is so different from a frum lifestyle. Its just a huge change and it takes time to adjust and without the proper support system you just burn out. Everyone needs friends and wants to feel like part of the crowd and if a ger walked in to most shuls there may be one or 2 “tzaddikim” who would bother to try and make him feel welcome and everyone else would just shy away.