RebDoniel: You seem like a serious, thoughtful person, just like many serious, thoughtful people I’ve met in many walks of life. My own journey took me through just about every sector that can be remotely called Jewish. And I’ve met many wonderful Modern Orthodox people.
I just have to say, regarding your comment that geirim should avoid the chareidi world at all costs, that with me it doesn’t wash. I’ve certainly experienced bigotry and condescension in the chareidi world — but I’ve also experienced it with Jews who are Reform, Conservative, and Modern Orthodox. No stream is immune.
And most geirim are where they are because they’re seekers after truth. Not that there are no truth-seekers among the Modern Orthodox, and not that there are only truth-seekers among the chareidim. But a geir has already abandoned his family, his friends, his upbringing, and his whole way of thinking; why would he then want to sit at a Shabbos table where people are discussing movies and Immanuel Kant? Most of the geirim I know — and I know several dozen — have gravitated toward chareidi streams because they find more people with whom they share a basic outlook. And given that no one’s perfect, and they would likely experience rejection at some point wherever they go, most of them are willing to put up with a few stings from the group they feel most akin to.