I completely forgot that I had posted on this thread. How does everyone remember where their posts are???
This is not only sexist, its plain wrong. When the Kohanim roasted meat in the Bais Hamikdash, they were not doing Avodas HaKodesh? Do I have to list the Tannaim/Amoraim who would specifically cook or otherwise prepare for Shabbos themselves?
Cooking was only an example of what I think is considered part of being and akeres habayis. Comparing taking care of the home to the avodah in the Beis HaMikdash is not my own comparison, I’m pretty sure I saw it from Rav Shimshon Pinkus. Obviously the men in the actual B”HMK are doing avodah. I think this is not comparable to what the preparations that the Tanaaim and Amoraim did, I don’t believe they were doing it as part of taking care of the home, but rather as part of kovod Shabbos.
I think I specifically mentioned cooking because I enjoy cooking (maybe breakfast for himself, I don’t remember) and my R”Y told us that one time he was cooking and his grandmother R’ Ahron Kotler’s Rebbetzin told him that “a bochur doesn’t belong in the kitchen”.
When a man sends his wife out to learn Torah, he gets a more Kosher and Torahdik home (assuming he sends her out to learn the right things, not the Sem “Yalkut Shimoni” Tiflus). Halevai every woman should have a seder in Basar V’Chalav.
I am not talking about going to a nice shiur once or twice a week for chizuk. Althogh as you point out, his benefits from such a thing would be a kosher and torahdig home. The difference I think is that this is only an indirect way of getting schar: a more torahdig home= less aveiros, more mitzvos. While a man’s limud Torah directly generates schar for his wife. I think it would be more beneficial for the husbands to have such a seder, because my experience is that Jewish wives always know to ask, only sometimes the husband pretends to know…
Who are you to decide what the Netiya and the Derech of Avaodas Hashem is for any individual, male or female? Who are you to say that the Torah of people like Reb. Nechama Leibowitz or Reb. Bruria David should have not been revealed to Klal Yisroel!?
I don’t think these are my ideas. I look at what men are mitzuveh to do and what women are and take my cues from there. A man is mitzuveh to learn Torah a women is not. Ergo, a man fulfills his tachlis through limud torah, a women does not. Eishes Chayil doesn’t talk about the women who sit by the gates. I’ve never heard of those Rebbetzins.