I think I specifically mentioned cooking because I enjoy cooking (maybe breakfast for himself, I don’t remember) and my R”Y told us that one time he was cooking and his grandmother R’ Ahron Kotler’s Rebbetzin told him that “a bochur doesn’t belong in the kitchen”.
Unfortunately, that is part of a larger shittah (to which I strongly disagree). Out of that shittah comes the Kollel guys who claim that taking out garbage is “beneath them”. I hear, it is a “Lakewood” shittah, but IMHO (and that of many Gedolim of the previous generations) Chazal would disagree.
I am not talking about going to a nice shiur once or twice a week for chizuk. Althogh as you point out, his benefits from such a thing would be a kosher and torahdig home. The difference I think is that this is only an indirect way of getting schar: a more torahdig home= less aveiros, more mitzvos. While a man’s limud Torah directly generates schar for his wife.
Agreed.
I don’t think these are my ideas. I look at what men are mitzuveh to do and what women are and take my cues from there. A man is mitzuveh to learn Torah a women is not. Ergo, a man fulfills his tachlis through limud torah, a women does not. Eishes Chayil doesn’t talk about the women who sit by the gates. I’ve never heard of those Rebbetzins.
Once again, you are “playing G-d” by making the Tachlis of every woman not to learn. Who are you to tell the Ribbono Shel Olam why He put a specific woman in this world? Perhpas “B’derech Klal” we can say they have a Netiyah (Chazal say so), but for an individual?