I am really annoyed that a simple story about Rav Aharon Kotlers Rebbitzen is being so badly misinterpreted by so many people here. Rav Aharon Kotler was kulo Torah he learned alk the time and lived Torah pure undiluted Torah. The shittah of Rav Aharon and his Rebbetzin was that a man (one who sits and learns) is supposed to totally dedicate himself to Torah and learn every free moment he has. It is the woman’s role to take care of the house and make sure that the man can focus totally on his avodas Hashem.
Now a lot has changed between those days and today but if you read about all the gedolim you will find that basically all of them learned almost every second they had and their wives made sure to take care of the house and kids. If you want to become a Reb Aharon Kotler you need a wife that supports that lifestyle
We aren’t talking todays kollel chevreh who spend lots of time at home helping with the kids and supper and what not. That’s all wonderful and nice but if some of these yungermans are capable of learning 18 hours a day and their wives are capable of handling all home duties and yet she doesn’t push herself to do so and takes her husband out of the beis medrash unnecessarily she will have to give a cheshbon for that one day.