“What changed that couldnt be determined”? A lot, let’s face it (many) people don’t know their fiance well when they get engaged. heck , people are married for years and get divoced “what changed” is a silly question.
What changed in my case was I lost my job. It was right after 9/11 in the middle of the dot.com crash and it was quite likely that I would be out of work for a year or more after that. (I went back to finish my BA then made Aliyah actually) When Rikva* responded to it by saying “Whats the big deal” I think it dawned on my that I had a problem. In truth I should have seen it earlier, I am a BT and not your typical Brooklyn guy. I don’t have a yeshiva background and am mostly OK with that. When Rikva and I started dating I was very newly religious and felt that I should get married, and I kind of forgot that the who is important too. She was looking at me as a “project husband” which I had no desire to be. I also had no desire to live in NY.
Now in truth I should have seen all of this much earlier but sometimes you see things threw rose colored glasses and don’t see what is right in front of your face.
Right after I moved to Israel I met my wife, we actually sort of met my accident, but that is a story for another post.
*Name changed