Reply To: Broken Engagements

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happy girl

I heard that the shtar mechila is only needed if you have a teniyim. I don’t understand…honestly, if it wasn’t heard of until 2 years ago then how important can it be?

If someone gives the shtar just for shidduch reasons because “no one will go out with her unless she has one” but does not really forgive the other side ….whats the point. They were just engaged. why can’t they just move on. You can’t control a person’s feelings. you can’t force someone to really forgive. Just because you have the signed paper doesn’t mean there is no grudge.

also, who has to sign the paper. is it just the girl and the boy or do the parents also have to sign? what if the parents lost a lot of money with the whole engagement and they refuse to sign? are the parents just expected to forgive and forget the lost money? If a parent is rich that might be easy to do but what if the parent is tight on money and now lost money and will have to spend it again for a future shidduch. It might not be so easy to forgive in such a situation.