“Perhaps there are hundreds or thousands of guys who have dated 5/10 years and are still single but no one seems to know where they are. Not shadchanim, not dating websites, not Rabbonim, not therapists, not the girls.”
I heard it suggested, but obviously have no way of knowing and have no idea how to even try to verify this, that the reason we dont see these guys is because they have “left the fold”, at least as the term “fold” is defined by the yeshivish community. A lot of this happens, this suggestion says, in the late high school early post high schools years (which I am calling 17-21 years old), and in fact there ARE less guys available for the average typical BY type girl. I am not a sociologist or ben sociologist, perhaps these types of guys are included under those who therapists might know of, perhaps this suggestion is outrageously wrong, I dont want to speculate it doesnt help anyone. It is abundantly clear though that, at least on a community wide level, NASI is the only group doing anything to try and resolve this problem and for that they should be commended, not condemned.