Ubi:
I’m having difficulty following…
You explained why the guys who are “not hard of hearing” are able to do a lot of picking. But what about the guys who are “hard of hearing”, how are they able to keep on picking, shouldn’t the girls keep on saying no to them?
I mean after all the numbers are equal (or at least in your mind, that plays no factor).
hmmmm I guess it’s because the “hard of hearing guys” are redd so many shidducim so they can pick one who will finally say yes, and the girls who are “hard of hearing” just sit and no one redds them shidduchim.
and that is because????
oh- it’s because the style is to go to the guys first…
um i think not
I think it’s because there are simply so many more girls to redd and thus the guys have the upper hand and thus….
and i think it’s pretty obvious that if/when the numbers are more equal, then guys will have a choice of sitting and sitting and sitting or dating girls that previously would have been unpicked.
Suppose there was a shortage of girls for the guys, wouldn’t it be obvious that this would alleviate and solve the problem of some girls not getting dates??? In fact it would create a reverse problem for the boys (depending on the degree of the shortage of girls. This is actually what is taking place by the chassidim).
so the most efficient method of solving your issue is to close the age gap. and one of the very effective and necessary steps to close the age gap is to have boys begin dating slightly younger.
Whatever, i think at this point we are going in circles.
I wish best of luck at giving the girls equal dating opportunity while allowing the numbers to be totally out of wack.
(as for your comment re: misguided people. if you think it’s a lie say it. if you think it’s true but advise against making it known, do realize that significant numbers of Gedolim in EY and tens of R”Y in Americat have signed a letter saying exactly that. If you say it’s a lie and they were mislead- please say so- and be ready to back it up because it’s a very very serious allegation. If you agree to the facts, but are arguing on them regarding the appropriate course of action, i think you are out of place.)